The End

Here comes the end of the semester and also the end of the journey in xxxx (not to be specific). Honestly, I didn't really hate it as much as the first day I was there. The environment, the people are still there, but I kind of get rid of it by constantly sticking to my own friends group or so called "my comfort zone". I have given up to be more socialized by mixing around with all kinds of people. It makes me so uncomfortable. I tend to keep quiet when I'm with a huge bunch of not-that-familiar-but-trying-to-be-familiar-people. That explains why I'm labelled as the quietest among the group. Not that I don't speak, it's just that I prefer to be a listener rather than the speaker when I'm around with a group of not really comfortable people. When I'm with my friends, there's no way for me to become a listener. 'Cause I will be the one who talks the most in my friends group. (That's a hint for you to determine that we're close or not =D)

So I've decided to come out from that huge bunch of people and find my very own gang in semester 2. It was obviously difficult and I struggled alot in order to find the right person to be with. I was alone, most of the time until accounting class started. I finally found my 'right person' that I can talk to and share my thought with. It was totally unexpected that she had the same feeling just like me. She introduced me to her gang of friends that had the same thought as her too! Thanks god, I finally found them? I don't really sure but at that moment, I was so confidence that we will be closer very soon. So I sort of taking the lead to held a hangout, one-day-trip with them later on. Even though it wasn't going on like what I really expected, but indeed, we became closer through the planning process. I'm not alone, I guess? 

In semester 3, things were going so well that it went beyond my expectations. We bonded so well that they kind of take care of me. (Since I'm the maknae in the group.) Maknae literally means youngest in Korean. Happy? I guess I'm quite satisfied about it eventhough I knew that this friendship will end very soon 'cause I'm going to another university next year and we won't be as close as now anymore. It won't be a one-year-kind-of-friendship but we have limited time to meet each other next time. =(

Anyhow this is an appreciation post specially written for them to thanks them for being my best friends for that one year. I will never forget our jokes, laughters and imaginary stories. The only reason that I decided to change college because this campus suck! Its beyond terrible. You guys are the best but so sorry that I can't stand that mouse-like environment anymore. Do keep-in-touch next year if possible.... PS. I didn't give them my blog URL, so they won't know I wrote this for them. I would like to keep it private. 

Merry Christmas!!!!! Jingle on the way =) Late wish (as usual). Enjoy your day before school start. Praying that I'll get good grade in final and get into the university I want. =)
Bye.

Happystar Li

What Do I Say?

I am listening to sad kind of music while writing this post so it's obviously gonna to be an emotional and sad post. I needa express it out... 

Here comes the end of semester 2. Well, semester two seems to end so fast that I don't even have any time to grumble about why time past so slow and why my life so miserable. In fact, I kind of enjoyed it. I guess accounting and marketing combo have made felt happier and enjoyable. What electives should I take in semester 3? Should I take UOL programme and take up microeconomic and then straight away go UK or counting on my CGPA to get into Mo***h? I'm confused. I dislike economic because it needs us to draw graph which I hate it so much. Plan to take Calculus and Finance in semester 3. So my semester 3 will gonna be a full-mathematics subjects except for CAP (Culture, Arts and Politics). Yesh, I love maths so much and even set a target that my future boyfiee should be a maths pro (I know I'm crazy). 

CTS (Critical Thinking Skills) subject that I have taken in this semester is driving crazy. It is obviously not a read-able and understandable subject. I have memorised lots of moral principle that I don't even understand before that. I don't even realize that there are so many moral principles involved just to make a small decision. Example, duty of reparation and duty of fidelity, do you understand them? Obviously NOOO. Even I don't understand. Learnt a new word, UTILITARIANISM. Hahah. Its a moral principle too.. I felt so stress after reading that. I guess psychology is not a suitable field for me as I understand mathematics better than moral or reasons. I actually evaluate a statement validity based on mathematical reasoning rather that theories. Thanks God that there is someone who created that mathematical reasoning. If not, I would have totally blank in that subject. 

Here goes the quoting time. MY Favourite =) =)

“罚站是我唯一可以和你  独处  的时刻”  摘于《同学会》电影。

这句话，怎么就那么吸引我？这部电影，我一定准时看。我喜欢淡淡，纯真的爱情片，不要过于over, 那就能吸引我。我希望它能带我回到小学时的幼稚回忆，那什么都不懂的我们，每天就只是嘻嘻哈哈的笑，完全不知烦恼怎么写，怎么形容。。上学，玩耍，和同学打闹，那是多么美丽的一件事，曾经觉得那只是个微不足道的事，但如今却好怀念，好想回到最真实的从前，最真实的自己。

“我不敢哭，因为我不想  认输”  摘于 《不敢哭》歌词。

我是个怕输的小孩，不要叫我认输，因为那是件比任何事还要困难的一件事。如果哭等于认输，那我宁愿不哭，宁愿沉默。因为沉默是最好的答案，最佳的掩饰，最棒的动作。

Okayyy, gotta go. Gotta enjoy my semester break now. Running Man mode ON. Aaron's drama mode ON!! Kay Bye =)

Happystar Li

Confusion

As promised, I will be telling the story in these post. So, where should I start from? Make it simple, its like when I was young, everytime I fall sick and admitted into hospital, none of my relatives will come and visit me or my other family members, they were afraid that they might get affected by the virus. C'mon it wasn't virus but just a normal flu or whatever stuff. When any of them had troubled, my dad was the first person to lend a hand and helped them no matter what. Willing to spend that much money just to help them overcome, even when that problem cannot be solved using money, my dad was willing to spare his time to think of a way to solve. But what do we get in the end? They treated us like a problem-solving-machine and  they actually came to us whenever they faced problems. When my mum was telling me this, all of a sudden, I felt proud that I'm a member of problem-solving-machine. I 'm proud of my dad like seriously. Respect =) Deeper story? Is okay, its sensitive anyway, I would prefer diary actually. 

Let's not talk about that. Recently, I have just looked back my previous posts. Strange feeling started to surround me. Am I actually grown up? I'm confused. Every post like almost, I will share my favourite quotes that I get it from books or dramas. From the quotes, I realised that I have grown up. I actually learn to let it go sometimes. Things that not belong to us or I can never achieve it, is okay to let it go now. I know that I can't play basketball and I would never force myself to learn it. Just let it be. The imperfect part will turn into perfect after some time. Nobody's perfect and I'm not nobody, therefore I should be imperfect. Before that, I tried so hard to force myself to play basketball but I failed. Now, just-let-it-be. But when it comes to academic, that's just another way of saying that. I will definitely force myself to be perfect in academic. There is no reason I don't did well in exam 'cause I was given the time to study. No excuses. 

Here is some other quotes that I like. 

不完美其实也是一种完美。

笑着，哭着都是一天，那，为什么我们不选择笑笑过每一天呢？

爱情就美丽的是暧昧的时刻，过了，那就会变成一种负担。

真正的朋友，不是那些每天陪你花天酒地的，而是在你遇难时，不会离你而去的。

懂你的人，会静静陪着你不说话，不懂你的人，会一直吵你对他说话。

幸福其实很简单，当你没想着它，你就是在幸福着。

婚宴，不是看有多少人出席，而是看你生命中最重要的人都有没有到齐。

爱你的人，不是那些整天对你甜言蜜语的人，而是整天故意整你让你生气的人。

Cant think of others now..

Anyway, I found this new song (quite long ady actually) super nice... Derrick's FOREVER... omg.. Fall in love with it the first time I listened to it. I like the lyrics. And not to forget Aaron's drama theme song, 二分之一 is great also.. Love them to the max.. 

Gotta go, continue to practice my oral presentation.. Wish me luck =) Full mark!! Finger crossed.

Happystar Love Aaron.

Simple Update =)

Just a little short and simple update just to keep my bloggie alive. Time seriously flies and for the first time, I wish that it can passed a little slower. I don't normally hope it'll pass slower as I just don't want to leave in the past that have made me so miserable. Many things have happened in this month, I mean June. First of all, I have just celebrated my 18th birthday on the18th of June.1818. Nice number =) Its only happen once in my life. Next, I was so touched when one of my college friends actually stayed up to 12am just to be the first person to wish me Happy Birthday. Although we knew each other for like four months and started to become closer when we were in the same group in the same campsite three months ago, but I will never know that our friendship can be so real... Thank you for your everything =) and yes we coincidentally hate the same person that we don't even realise that we actually talk bad about the same person. I don't know why I didn't told you the name of the person at first but when we found out that we were gossiping about the same person, the feeling was... ohyeah, finally, someone understands me right now..   You were like my elder sister, taking care of this blur younger sister. (I think I am blur, most of the time.) 

Okay, now lets switch topic to some emotional topics. Recently my mum had just told me some truths that I would never expected things can be like this previously. I feel quite luckily that my family was the only one that willing to lend a hand to help others. Thank God I was born in this family.. Started to cherish what I have now... (Wanna know what's that? Wait till my next post, I will tell you the story =P)

Kinda fall in love with this song now. 《面具 》This song super nice!! As in the lyrics super touching my heart. It talks about people nowadays like to wear a mask when dealing with others. They are not showing their true self to others instead creating a fake character for themselves. When they remove their mask, they will eventually find out that how stupid they are and how much pain they have to face.. Do find out more by searching the lyrics.. 

Omgggg, after my Korea Trip, I found myself falling in love with K-Pop. I knew I am a bit late for that but its okay. I love Mr. Mr. and Mr. Chu and I can replay it hundreds times per day without feeling bored.. Yes, I love Korean's songs right now. I love Monday Couple so much...and I really hope that they can become real couple in reality. Finger crossed. 

Gotta go. I have Accounting and Marketing quizzes next week. Have to start study right now. Will update more next week..No promise =)

HappystarLi

Beginning of Semester 2 =)

Hey.. After that three weeks semester break, here come the beginning of my second semester. Honestly speaking, I feel  happier now compare to last semester. Finally I can get rid of that bitch in my life. That useless bitch used to have the same English and CP class with me in my last semester. She definitely ruined my first semester. She is a type of person who takes everything for granted, acts like everyone should help her out whenever she faces problems. What The HELL !! She thinks that she is pretty but excuse me.. You've wrongly define the word "pretty". Pretty doesn't means appearance but also include inner beauty like attitude. Your attitude like shit.. Act like a princess and keep asking me whether you should dye or curly your hair? This is not an fashion show but a college for you to gain knowledge. I think you should shave your hair better! Keep asking people about what do you think about my attire today, my hair today? You want to know the truth, you look hopeless in any way. Fail your CP test, English Test and I don't even interested to list it out. What a perfect student, I would say. Pretended to speak English to everyone like so sudden 'cause she used to speak Mandarin in class but seriously you need to work hard with your pronunciation and vocabulary. It's sounds so weird and funny. Hey, Ms.Clown, thanks for entertaining us. 

So, I choose Accounting and Marketing for my electives in this semester. Attended my first accounting class last Monday. Even though I don't really understood what the lecturer said but I just don't know why I felt so happy because I am getting nearer and nearer to what I want to be in future. Transaction  wasn't easy for me as a first timer in accounting but I felt satisfied when I successfully converted all the transaction into accounting statement. I felt that this was what I really like about. Attended my first ever marketing class last week too. Marketing was fun. I like promoting products so I guess marketing suited  me the most. I like the way when marketer tried to come out with the way to grab consumer's attention to buy their products. I like to see how creative they can be. In fact, when I was in Korea, whenever I was in a shop with my family, I like standing there listening to how promoter trying to promote their products to us. I just like to see the way they praised how good their products were and what benefits consumers can gained from it.

Told my dad that I want to become a promoter or sales person but he don't really agree with me. To him, sales was the most hardest and annoying job but no doubt that its really earn the most in the job industries. I don't know what to say now but I guess getting a HD in marketing subjects would be the best prove that I can be a promoter or sales person in future.

Here come the next problem, should I take Finance or Economic in my next semester? Since I took accounting in this semester, so my brother advised me to take Finance in next semester because both of them are related. He said that if I took Finance now, I would not be suffered that much in degree. I plan to have double major in marketing and finance later so yeah.. But what about economic? My  bro said since I wasn't taking micro or macroeconomic, then I should put economic aside and only study it in degree.. He said that economic principle is just basic principle that would not help me to have better understanding in micro and macroeconomic later. So, should I put aside my economic principle and take finance or continue to take economic and only study finance in degree? What should I do?

Calculus is one of the electives that I planned to do in third semester. I love maths so if I want to have a higher CGPA, taking all maths will give me a 6 out of 7 points if I managed to get HD for all maths. I never know that I can be such a good planner until now. I planned everything on my own. Study Skills lecturer said that I'm an organizer. I tend to see things further and link them together with my life now. If I found out that subjects or things don't benefits me in any way, automatically I will give up on that, which are the good and bad as an organizer. PDL lecturer said that I'm a prioritizer which was quite true. I only do things that are urgent and have benefit to me. What I label myself? I don't know.. Love this Quote:

当别人看到树木的时候，我们要看到整片森林；

当别人看到光点的时候，我们要看到一颗星星。

摘于《论敦铁桥垮下来》

Gotta get back to calculation world. Bye.
Happystar Li

Upside Down

Heyyy.. I'm back to blog after two weeks, I guess? Rushing with dozen of assignments and presentations and here it's the end of my first semester. I just came back from Korea three days ago. Supposedly to be happy 'cause I just back from my holiday but it's just upside down. How I wish that time can turned back and I'll choose not to go for my holiday. 'Cause it's made me suffer like this!!!

As expected, after back from Korea, mum will definitely asked me to help out with my little brother's homework. I won't mind helping him to solve any maths problems since I love Maths so much. But guess what, my mum was expecting me to help my bro to do his tugasan harian and all he needs to do was to copy it into an A4 paper (This job was too simple that a 3 years old kid can done it) Copy and Paste. What  the F***!! I'm too good in holding my words but this time I can't hold it any more. You are trying to make my life so suffer and bring the nightmare back to me!!! I hate doing that 'cause I totally have no idea how to do it. I don't even know what's the formulae to write it. You gave an excuse said that I've experienced it before, therefore I should help my bro to do it. EXCUSE ME!!! When I first time encountered this, I had no idea what was going on. I don't even knew who I can asked or even rely too. My elder brother went overseas when I was form four therefore he can't helped me up. But even if he was here, he won't helped me too.. 

I just tried my best to write it without a single idea what should I write. My first draft was rejected and I rewrite it again and again until I get it what should I write. Everything was based on my own!! My ability and you didn't even helped me out... You might said I didn't even asked for your help but obviously, even if I did, you will scold me for not asking teacher for proper information. But now, SEE WHAT HAVE YOU SAID TO ME BECAUSE OF MY LITTLE BROTHER!! You said that I'm too individualistic that I don't want to share my things with my bro but please... I did like to help him if he got any problems but that doesn't imply that I should help him to do everything.. He will has to explore on his own too.. Compare to others brother sister of my friends, I'm way too good to my bro 'cause they didn't even bother about their siblings' homework.

Scolded me for two hours just simply because I refused to help my bro to do his tugasan harian. I just can't understand am I doing the wrong thing? I am just helping him to be more independent. But what I get? NOTHING!!! This is so unfair. Why can' he does everything on his own without anyone's help? She forced me to print out what I've done for the past two years for him. Unfortunately my laptop didn't want me to print, I think my laptop understand me so well that my mum don't. Laptop automatically shut  down on its own and I can't on it. (What a perfect time..) She scolded me for not taking care of my laptop again, kept grumbling that I wouldn't want to help my bro. Stupid. Why can't you just put yourself into my shoes? Think about it, you put in so much effort to do a thing just to let others to claim the credit, do you feel happy about that? You'll never know how it's feels..

I don't even know how am I gonna escaped from this work.Why me? You never satisfied on what I had done and the only time when you're satisfied was when you were asking for my help. You made me felt that I'm only a tool for you. Take it when you need and throw it when you don't. I'm your daughter. I just don't know why you just treated me so unequal compared to my bros. I struggled so much when I was in form four. For the first time my elder bro was not around for me to rely on, my parents didn't even knew what am I doing, I was totally blanked in every subjects especially biology. You scolded me for not paying attention in class when I asked dad about some questions.Same situation happened on bro right now,why not you tell him the same words? 

I'm forced to adapt to the environment without any chances. Since young, I was taken care by a babysitter and I've no choice but to accept it. The only reason I was there was because you want to take care of my little bro. I was there since 2 years old. I learnt to read a simple storybook on my own at that age. It took me weeks to finish reading a storybook. I thought that I'll gonna get your praise but NO. I got nothing. Because I'm the only left-handed in the family, you never taught how to hold a pen, chopstick and even fork and spoon. I learnt on my own. Being a left-handed was so troublesome that everytime I had to create or find my own way to handle a task. I never know how to cut a paper into a nicely shape until today. It's too hard to cut using left hand.. But you'll never understand just kept complaining that I don't even know how to cut paper that even my little bro knew that. What the heck is that? Did I have the chance to choose that I don't want to be a left-handed? 

Life seems to be so lifeless right now. I just want to have a good rest before my next semester start. But it's seems that my semester's break have been fully occupied. My world had turned upside down. What can I do? Adapt? Accept? Deal with it? I'm confused.

Happystar Li

原来那，是心碎。

Heyyoo.. Too long didn't write or type Chinese words already, kind of strange to it now... Never let my Chinese teacher knew this. This will be an emotional and more on flashback post. I'm always an emotional person and I knew that. 

Last Thursday, the day that I've been waiting for finally arrived. It was a big day for me. It's SPM result released day. I was way too excited at first because finally I can get to see all my hard work being written on that paper. This was the best prove ever to prove that I'm hard working enough to get what I'm deserved for. Well, I was expecting 8A+ and an "A" for my English and maybe "A-" for my Chinese. I screwed up Chinese so much. I afraid that my Chinese will ruin my everything. Pray, and keep praying, hoping that I will at least get an "A-" for Chinese and I'm happy about that. Seriously, I never satisfied for everything that I have done and this was my first time ever satisfied about it. 

Counting down with my friends, my same-aged-cousins. Time seems to pass so fast. It's like in a blink of eyes, it's tomorrow already. Words can't really describe how I felt that time. Disappointed? Happy? Excited? It was like a combination of all of them. I'm so scared. My mum kept telling me it was okay to didn't get an "A+" for Chinese, but others, no excuses. My mum drove me to school. I was hoping that when I reached there, my junior perfects will inform me about my result (I purposely went late, so yeah.) But they didn't. On the way to registration table, I saw a not-very-closed friend started to cry after looking at the message from her phone. Oh shit, Why she cried in front of me? I was trying so hard to hold my tears and not letting it down since just now. I tried to ignore her. I found my gang, Ying and Pei Yen. They gave us an alumni form and asked us to fill it up. I realised that I can't even hold a pen and write because my hand was shaking so badly. I tried to control, calm myself down. 

Then I saw Crystal was crying again after knowing her result. I don't really knew it was a happy tears or not. I tried to talk to Ying just to calm myself down but unfortunately, we both were so nervous. Finally we were at the basketball court, I saw Pn. Tan. The exactly same situation happened just like in PMR. Everyone was hoping that teacher told us that our paper was not there. (It's mean you got straight A's.) I didn't dare to walk toward Pn. Tan. Ying got her result and she told me she was too nervous to see it. So I pulled her to the middle of the court and "started" to look at it. Unexpectedly, she got a "B+" for BM, she cried after sawing it. I was trying to comfort her but guess what, I started to cry with her.. (I haven't take my result la.)

People used to say "眼泪是会传染的。" At first I don't believed it but now, I did. We both walked around the corridor just to calm ourselves down and wiped away the tears. I cried so badly and I don't know why. Ended up, Ying had to comfort me.. Thank you lar... haha. 

I saw my Chinese teacher, Mr.Bong. He saw me crying and he was like "what do you get for SPM?" "...I haven't take my result but I'm scared of my Chinese..". "Your Chinese sure can get A." Because of that "sure can" word, I quickly sum up that I didn't get A for Chinese. OMG, I didn't even want to trust my teacher. I felt so funny after that. Finally, I asked myself to face the truth. I walked toward Pn. Tan. I asked my junior perfect to see whether my paper was there and she told me she couldn't see anything. Pn. Tan looked  (confused look) at me, and gave that paper to me. Damn, why she gave me the paper instead of telling me my paper is missing.... I got 8A+ as what I expected but instead of BM, my English actually got an "A+", But I got a B+ for my BM!!!! Hey, I got an A for Chinese.. I never believed that. OMG, it's Chinese.. But wait... Why BM? This question came across my mind now. Why BM? I had so much confidence I can at least get an A for BM but why does ended up so disappointing me? Suddenly, all my happiness were GONE! Disappointed so much. Why am I so unlucky? The expected people to get an A ended up getting a "B" but the unexpected people to get an "A", ended up getting an "A". Why I'm not the lucky star as well as why am I always so unlucky?

All my same-aged-cousin got straight A's except for me getting a "B+" for BM. Screwed you so much BM. Even though I got the most A+ amongst them but still straight A's sounds more nicer than all A+ but a "B". What can I do? I study so hard but ended up the result disappointed me so much. It's so unfair!!! Where was my hard work? Study until 2am almost every day two month before SPM and force myself to finish thousands over questions for most of the subjects but why? Why can't I get straight A's? Just a bit more to straight A's. My mum scolded me for this. It was expected that she will scold me. But scolding me for what? For not hard-working enough? Ohh please, I'm admit that I'm way too hard-working at that three months. Non-stop exercising and revising. 

I felt like crying but I don't want to cry in front of my parents. I don't want to let them knew how I felt. I used to appear to be a strong in-controlling-myself-girl in front of them and I don't wan to spoilt this image. Let it be, they don't even try to understand me. Fine!! I didn't want to talk to my cousin because of this. Yesh, I'm too comparative and I know it. But you can't blame me because I'm in a bad mood to talk to anyone. Sometimes I just hope I have a time eraser in my hand to erase this moment. My cousin tried not to talk to me about result, instead he kept telling me how cute fluffy unicorn are (I love fluffy unicorn so much)  and some other random topics. He wanted me to smile ( I knew) but I can't. 

我才发现，原来这两年来，一直在给我压力的，不是我妈妈，而是我自己。我为了面子，为了证明，无形中给了自己压力，但我却从来没有发觉。我害怕失败，所以很努力地抓着绳子往上爬。我不能接受这是个事实，但它就是。为什么？为什么最后一场游戏，我却莫名其妙地败了？我不甘心! 原来大家注重的，只是最后一场游戏，而不是前面几场的游戏。那，只不过是场热身游戏。。

亲戚朋友都纷纷打电话来恭喜我，说我考得很好，真的很好吗？我质疑。他们越是要恭喜我，我就越觉得他们在讽刺我，讽刺我也有坠落的时候。我很难受。SPM 这字令我很敏感。一提起它，我的眼角就湿了，原来我到现在还很难过，放不开。。不要安慰我，不要恭喜我，此时此刻，我只想一个人，好好地大哭一场。静静地被眼泪包围着，被它自由地灌溉。如果说这就是成长，那为什么他们却没有如此的遭遇？为什么就是我？我不要，真的不要如此的打击，这就已经足够将我打败了。我，真，的，不，要，了！

那天，婆婆对我说，其实我的成绩是在我同岁的堂兄妹之中最好的一位，因为我考得了8A+, 而他们都少过我。我听了很吃惊，婆婆是不识字，但她为了安慰我，竟然学会了原来A+ 才是最重要的。突然之间觉得她比所有的亲戚好很多。至少她说了句我最想要听的话。谢谢您，婆婆！亲戚们口头上是恭喜我，但在whatsapp group 里却说他们的成绩比我好。。口是心非，最令人讨厌。在我落难时，谁扶我一把，谁落井下石，我都看得明白。谢谢你们，我会学会放开的。至于那些落井下石的人，你们等着瞧，我一定会继续创造奇迹的。等，着，瞧！

Just realised that this post is so long.. Haha. sometimes I can't stop myself from expressing my feeling out here 'cause this is the only way to express my truth self. 

Gotta go. Will update more next time...

Next week presentations GOOD LUCK!!

happystarli

Nobody needs you.

I don't need a dog in my life. I don't need you to be in my life as well. So don't try to act like you were the main character of my life. I'm the main of my life. I've lots of principles about life. I've heard lots of secrets that I don't know who to say with. I seriously need a teddy bear beside me now. I like bears. Not because there are cute, but just they are always my good listeners. They listen to your words with patient, without a single  action that indicate they don't like to do so. I can always talk to them even though I always accidentally fall asleep when I'm talking to them but they will never mad at me. NEVER.

You know my weakness. You know what I'm scared of but you just make it happen to me purposely. What was your aim? I'm confused. To praise your dog is cute or to make me teased by your dad that I was useless 'cause I scared of dog? Tell me, which one? I just can't get it that you actually know I'm scared of dog but you just keep bringing your dog near to me and telling me how tamed you dog were. Seriously, I feel like I should give you a slap on your face or shout loudly at you? Which one? I'm not interested in your dog and I'm have no interest in any other dogs either. So please, take it back home, stay away from me. Always.

I was born like that. I scared of dog for no reason and I don't even know why? How I wish I know the reason. Something might have happen during my mum's pregnancy. I guess.... Every times I asked myself not to scare of dog, passed by them without fear. But I failed every times. My fear will just take over me when I saw the dog. Next, I will just scream like tomorrow is the end of the world. I used to scream with a high pitch naturally. Sorry it's just too hard for me to get rid of it. 18 years and still counting, I just can't make it. My brain will just automatically programmed  and I will just scared of it. Maybe I need a psychologist to overcome it.

It's CNY now. But my CNY was just too boring. I've nothing to do but to continue to activate my blog and keep it update. Can I JUST SKIPPED NEXT YEAR CNY? Answer is too obvious. I missed high school life so much. I missed my friends so much. Just miss them...........

Happy Chinese New Year anyway. I just hope that year 2014 will be an awesome and great year for me. Everything I wish will become reality and I can meet a bunch of new and nice friends in my college. Fingers crossed. 

Gotta go. Bye. 

Happystar Li

心。是真的。

真的好久不见，你有曾想过我吗？不！我不可以，也不可能想起你，因为心已经决定了，不可能，不可以。我不想因为你而失去一份真挚的友谊。

我很傻，对吧？不知你有看《那些年》这部电影吗？你看它时，会不会想起我们的幼稚，天真，再带点傻傻的稚气? 电影的情节很像吧？那你看时，有没有很记忆深刻? 

座位前，座位后，这两行字，我的记忆特别的深刻。我不是故意提起的，只是当我在打字时，那些年，这首歌突然响起，一时有了念头，才打算打了出来。身份不露，原因明白。

我就坐在你后面，你就在我前面，可是我没用笔弄你背后，只是你习惯性地把领带放到你身后，让我作弄也好，任我拉也好，向我炫耀也罢！每一次拉你领带，你都会嬉皮笑脸地回过头，叫着你为我取的不同外号。当时真的很气你，狠不得赏你一巴掌。但想回来，突然觉得自己当时真的很幼稚，太好笑了吧？

我们因上课时讲话，最终被老师罚抄课文，我们互相争着骂对方是害群之马。你出现在我的世界，就注定是个给我找麻烦的人，想你消失，却很有缘的出现在同一个地方，又是同天duty for prefect。 我简直快疯了。

后来听你朋友说，你好像XX我，消息传出后，你就开始散播我喜欢其他人的消息，只为了洗脱自己的名声，我的名声呢?一气之下，就没和你再讲话，。这样的情形，维持了一年。。

毕业的前一天，你急忙从外走进课室，从书包里拿出了毕业照，放在我座位上，然后又看似很忙地在找东西，我知道 也明白，你想化解尴尬，所以选择不看着我。毕业照上很空，没有人签过名字，我很荣幸是第一个，我签了名后，把它交给你，你看都不看，就直接放进书包。隔壁的朋友开始怨你怎么没叫她签名，这时，你才从书包里拿出它，看了下，再交给她签。

我没有特别想说什么，只想说，我们现在仍是朋友。过去的事，我没放在心上，就任由它过去吧! 谢谢你曾经给我这么棒的回忆，我永远都会记得，座位前，座位后，这看似简单的字，但其实它并不简单。因为只有经历过的人，才会知道它真正的意思。我时常说，回忆是本最好读的故事书，百读不厌，越读就越有趣 不是吗？

Driving Experience

Seriously, after attending the amali class, I felt that driving isn't something fun but SCARY!! Seriously. I fall asleep when the person was giving a talk on whatever things ( car's engine) therefore I have totally zero-knowledge about car's engine. The class was full of table and chair but there were only around 16 students in the class. Many of us slept but some boys were listening to the talk. I don't like car. I don't even know a single car model so how am I going to learn about different car's engine? Engine is so complicated. Screwed it up. Look for the mechanic and that's all I know.

They taught us the way to change tyre. First, take out the jack ( don't even know where the jack come from) then put it below the car. blah blah and so on. I know how to change but unfortunately I don't think I have the strength to jack the tyre up for changing. I didn't attend TKD anymore =) Then it came to the most scariest part. One by one practical test... I was the last one to get into the car. OH YESH!! I got to press on the pedal.( My uncle teased me that I'm short, therefore I'll not be able to step on the pedal )I did it. Wait till next year, when I get my driving licence, for sure I will give you a free fetch to anywhere you want xD (Prove it to you. )

 The staring ( I don't know the spelling=( ) wasn't what I expected. The staring was so hard to turn!! I almost bang on a stone when I was trying to turn the staring. The person-in-charge was like, you seriously blur.. haha. You don't say.. I knew I was super blur when it came to car. My car just goes off in the middle of the road. The person-in-charge asked me to turn the key to the right, but what I realized was, when the key was turning to the right, the car engine will be completely off. Only when the key was turning left, the car get to start all over again. ( Mistake xP) It was so scary... Somehow I felt so scared for the next 10 hrs driving lessons. Please prove to me that I'm wrong.

That's all. Bye. I guess I have to sleep earlier nowadays to prevent me to become a real panda. Although panda is cute but I don't really want their eyes... (Panda eye) xD It's new year now.(LATE) Happy New Year.

Happystar