Yeol-eo jwo?

How do feel when you surrounded with people that don't understand you? How much do you wish to have someone beside you to listen to all your complaints? How much do you wish you can talk freely without care much about others' feeling?

It'll be much more easy to tell others to open up to you but it's harder for me open up to them. My housemates used to say I shut my "door of heart" when I first met someone new. I will pull off that cold look and I don't speak much. I tend to listen, tend to observe what would they do and come to a simple conclusion about that person. I judge people, based on their behavior rather than their look.

This might ended up giving people a thought that I'm that "cold-typed" of person. They might have that fear of talking to me 'cause they think that it's hard to find a common topic to talk about with me. I don't really know I've this kind of problem until we have a so called "first impression" session with my housemates.

Yes, I've to admit that I won't bother to talk to you at first if I think that you're not the type of my potential friend. What do you mean by potential friend? I don't judge people on how rich they are, how fashionable they are or how sociable they are, instead I tend to judge based on the feeling. If I don't feel good or comfortable with you for the first time, I won't, usually won't bother to talk or even start a conversation with you. If I somehow feel comfortable with you, then I will try to start a conversation with you.

Sometimes, I think is quite strange that some people I don't meet them often but still manage to pull off a topic out of nowhere and we still can talk for so long. But for some people, even if I seen them everyday, I still can't think of a way to talk to them or a common interest to talk about. When it comes to friend, there's only two choices for me: either talkative and funny one, 'cause I won't mind listen to their funny stories everyday or the listener typed, 'cause sometimes I might want to have a deep conversation with them.

Cold-typed of person?

Maybe yes, but to some extent. I did try to overcome this through internship but still, building up the courage to speak to everyone is seriously so difficult. I'm that kind of person that don't really know much of other thing except for entertainment stuff and so when they talk about sports or maybe games, I'll be blurring all the way till it ends. Car is the category that I hate the most. You don't come to me and tell me the brand and model of car that you interested, 'cause I might give you that "Can you please stop now" kind of face.

Growing up is all about socializing. How well you communicate with your colleague? How sociable you are? How knowledgeable you are? That's the part I suffered the most. I try to catch up but I failed, many times. I really really appreciate the life as a student. At least you don't have to worry on how to please your boss so that you can have your promotion or bonus. You don't have to worry on how much should I performed in order to secure my job. Student being just a student, get your pocket money, drive to university to attend classes and sometimes maybe have some fun time with your friends. You might hate the biggest enemy which is finals, but after finals, you will be given your own freedom for months. How I wished I could stay as a student forever.

I'm in my last semester now. Last time of being student and I really really cherish it so much. I'm currently having a dilemma of I don't want to graduate too early and get into the workforce but I don't want to study anymore... Biggest dilemma, I guess?