EXO- For You

dareun gongganui dareun siganijiman

nae sarangi majeulgeoya

barame seuchineun neoui hyanggirodo

nan neoingeol alsu isseo

but i don`t know

nae mamsoge eonjebuteo niga sangeonji

i don`t know

neoreul bomyeon seolleneun iyu

nareul seuchyeo jinagado dwae

niga nal da ijeosseunikka

niga gieokhal ttaekkaji

naneun neoreul gidariltenikka

geudaeyeo nareul barabwajwoyo

yeojeonhi geudaedo nareul saranghanayo

geudaeyeo naenuneul bogo yaegihaejwoyo

saranghaneun mameun sumgyeojiji anhayo

neoegen naega gyeote isseossdan

sasireul jeoldaero ijjineun ma

neol wihae modeungeol bachil su isseossdeon

nae maeumeul jiujima

but i don`t know

naemamsoge eonjebuteo niga sangeonji

i don`t know

neoreul bomyeon seolleneun iyu

nareul seuchyeo jinagado dwae

niga nal da ijeosseunikka

niga gieokhal ttaekkaji

naneun neoreul gidariltenikka

gateun gonggan gateun sigan hamkke issjanha

eonjerado nae gyeote wa neoui jariro

rarararararara

With you neoreul wihaeseo

geudaeyeo nareul barabwajwoyo

yeojeonhi geudaedo nareul saranghanayo

[ENGLISH TRANSLATION]

It’s a different place, a different time

But my love is right

Even by your scent that passes with the wind

I know it’s you

but i don`t know

When did you start living in my heart?

i don`t know

The reason my heart flutters when I see you

You can pass me by

Because you forgot about me

Until you remember

I will wait for you

My love, look at me

Do you still love me?

My love, look at my eyes and tell me

A heart full of love can’t be hidden

Don’t ever forget the truth

That I was by your side

Don’t erase my heart

That could sacrifice everything for you

but i don`t know

When did you start living in my heart?

i don`t know

The reason my heart flutters when I see you

You can pass me by

Because you forgot about me

Until you remember

I will wait for you

In the same place, in the same time, we’re together

You can always come to me, back to your place

Lalala

With you, for you

My love, look at me

Do you still love me?

Confident

“堂哥结婚的那天你要不要上台弹首歌祝福他？”

“我弹？”

“当然啊！只有你和堂哥学过钢琴，不是你弹给他还有谁？”

“那，其他人呢？”

“他们会随着你的琴声唱呀！”

那一刻，我那么希望自己不会弹琴。不是不喜欢钢琴，只是我比较喜欢唱歌。

我可以在他结婚那天站在台上唱歌，可是弹琴，我真的不行。不是对自己没有信心，只是我真的知道自己的钢琴level在哪里。要我在这么重要的日子弹琴，我真的有200%的可能会出差错。与其出丑，不如不要弹。

唱歌不一样，怎么说，我可以很感动的唱，很真心地祝福他们，可是对于钢琴我还是找不到那种可以代替说出来来表达我那时的心情。我不能幻想，因为我每时每刻都在担心自己会找不到下一个音符，下一个key在哪里。唱歌不一样，我可以闭上双眼，慢慢地幻想。我发觉我的歌声也会随着我的幻想而改变。这是一个朋友告诉我的。

她说我的key不会很高，属于alto的类型。我在唱高音时总会带点沙沙的声音在内。那是我的极限。我对真假音的转换还是不会控制的很好。但她说我唯一的好就是声音有力量，就很powerful的类型。我还真的吓到，我从来都没有想过自己的声音真的会有力量。

可是钢琴呢？老师常说我的手的力量很不一致。右手比左手强的多。右手可以sight reading, 可是左手却办不到。右手可以stretch 很大的gap,可是左手却不能。这也就是为什么我在弹琴时总不能专心地看着钢琴谱。我每次都任由自己的右手靠感觉去弹，眼睛全专注在左手上。每次选歌练习，我总爱挑那些歌右手是主角，左手是配角。这类行的歌最适合不过了。

所以真的要弹，还是唱？其实他是我唯一最不close的堂哥。不是不close，只是年龄相差太大，background也很不一样。他是Banana，我不是。这应该是最大的问题吧！祝福呢，我一定会祝福的。可是我可以不要弹琴吗？可以和堂妹唱首Nothing gonna change my love for you给你们好吗？

其实我比较想唱EXO的Love Me Right 或者Call Me Baby也可以。。。。

Happystar Li

Solo Night

曾经我都在想自己一个人生活会是什么样子？曾经我问我自己逃出妈妈唠叨的世界，我会是一个怎样的孩子？我还是会听话吗？还是我的自律会随风消失？

在交上exchange form 的时候，真的很爽快，很潇洒。去就去吧！体验一下也很好。如今再一次从来，我会如此潇洒吗？答案是，我还会。我从来都不喜欢做后悔的决定，所以每一个决定我都会一直问自己后悔吗，如果不会，那就放手去做吧！是，我会因为爸爸和哥哥离开我的那一瞬间而难过，可是我心里不断催眠自己，这是你的决定，你没有任何理由难过！从刚开始的不舍到现在的很okay，我想我已经做了对的选择吧！

一个人生活，一个人住，我反而觉得很习惯。想睡就睡，想读书就读书。真的很好。也许是从小就没有任何私人空间的我，觉得现在有了那么多的空间，这感觉真的很好。每天看看slides，再看戏，偶尔和他们出去玩玩，这感觉真的还不错！

一个人生活反而看清了自己的性格。原来我有洁癖，原来我真的很爱干净，而且爱干净的程度真的有点吓人！我不喜欢自己的房里有脏衣服，所以一看到有脏衣服便会拿去洗。我不喜欢自己的房间有任何头发的掉落，所以如果脚一不小心踩到头发就要立刻vacuum. 地上一有灰尘就得马上抹地。每晚若没换上睡衣就绝不能往床上躺下。还有每天早上一定要把床整理整齐才能去上课。

我原以为这些都很普通，可是当你发现你的室友们都没这么做时，你就知道拿是你自己的问题了。完了完了，我原来有洁癖的。还有一点点OCD. 所有的东西都得排得整整齐齐，不然我的心真的会不安。。。怎么办？

这样的生活都已已经持续了一个月了，我想我也应该习惯了吧！再多四个月就可以和我的床见面！加油吧！不过还得考玩finals先。。。

Happystar Li

给20 岁的自己的一封信

曾经我问我自己，20岁的我，会是一个怎样的人？过的还好吗？友情，爱情和亲情会顺顺利利吗？一转眼，我今天已20岁了。。想给自己写了封20岁的信好让以后能够好好的回味。

20岁的我，已经拥有个能够承受压力，承受别人不告而别的强心脏。People come and go, only the true one will stay forever. 这句话我也已经慢慢地消化了。人来人往嘛，离别分开是件再也不特别的事。我不会再去要求别人为了我而停下脚步，更不会要求别人为了我而留下来。我凭什么，凭什么剥削他们的自由只为了成全我的快乐？我的快乐很重要，可是我要的快乐是那种发自于内心的快乐，而不是强求别人的牺牲来让我快乐。

曾经我多么希望一切的一切都可以按着我的想法来诠释，包括故事中的所有人物，都可以按照我的想法表现出来。在我18岁那年，我完完全全明白了原来我只有能力改变我自己的生活，并没有能力去改变任何人的生活。每个人都有他的生活方式，他们不会为了你而改变。当然，如果你真的找的一个肯为了你完完全全改变的人，我想那应该是人生中最幸运的事吧！

经历了两年的大学生活，从那个什么都不懂，什么都不认识的丫头，到现在有了一班可以放心可以随意说话的朋友，我总觉得那是我这一年最最开心和幸运的事。每天一到学校就开始聊八卦，聊有的没得，做了些别人眼中看起来就很愚蠢的事，想起来真的很怀念。一有Assignment就每天缠着老师不放，缠到老师都认识我们，还和我们打成一片。Finance tutor简直把我们当buddy, 见到我们就会跑过来打我们的肩膀和我们说Hi. Accounts tutor还问我们没什么最近都没去consult她问题呢？怎么办，现在是闯祸到老师都认识我们了。哈哈哈，不过，这种感觉，真的，真的很好玩。

这一班朋友，有很多是今年才认识，可是认识后却变得很疯狂。考完finals就立刻跑到pyramid去唱K到晚上九点。点了超级high的歌，边唱边喊，那一瞬间，我突然感觉到 I finally found where I belong to. 曾经非常的担心自己会变成独行侠，可是命运的安排让我认识到了他们，让他们一直都在我身旁慢慢的陪着我，慢慢地让我放下了戒心。谢谢你们，我的大学有你们，真的非常的好玩。

对了，忘了提起上个星期闯祸差一点就被xx发现了。第一次违反了这么严重的规则，幸亏我及时底下头，才没被发现。不然，对不起咯，我们一定被捉来问话的。到时后果真的不堪设想。

友情其实让我明白了很多。有些朋友不会一直在你身旁，不过只要你需要他们，他们一直都在。谢谢你们的生日surprise。因为我真的很surprise。明明就知道有surprise，可是我一直以为是给另一个人的生日surprise，所以没有理会那么多，怎知原来全部人都懂了，只有我一个人被蒙在鼓力。谢了！我原以为我20岁的生日会很平凡，因为大家都在忙着考试，我凭什么约他们出来只为了庆祝我的生日，我是谁？我没那个能力！谢谢你们，让我的20岁生日有点不平凡。

说到生日，其实有很多人问我，你想要什么生日礼物？生日礼物吗？其实我并不是很想要些什么，我最想要的生日是简简单单的一本notebook，里面写完每一个人给我的满满祝福，那就真的够了。礼物不在于他的轻重，心意还是最重要的。与其给我个贵重的礼物，不如给我个可以让我回味，让我收藏的回忆笔记本。我承认我是个很念旧的人，所有人给我的卡片我都一一收藏，里边的祝福鼓励给我很大的motivation。难过沮丧时拿起来从新阅读，真的会给我很多的正能量。

别再说是谁的错，别再管是谁造成的，让过去成灰吧，因为已经不重要了，重要的是如何让自己和身边的人过得更好，如何不要去伤害他人。你可以伤害我，可是我绝不允许自己伤害任何人。这是我20岁坚守的原则。我当然明白这原则会随时间而改变，但至少现在我学会了放下。

20岁这一年，我拥有了亲情，拥有了友情，拥有了一班中学的好友，foundation的好友和大学的好友，可是爱情上我始终还是交白卷。为什么，为什么这一科就是那么难考呢？如果爱情有formula的话，那该有多好！因为在爱情里面，1+1不是等于2，它可以是3和4。希望希望我的爱情不要再交白卷了！！！至少来个50分也不错啦！

希望20岁的我，可以变得更加坚强，更加的勇敢去尝试。加油!!! 希望我的学业和一切能顺顺利利！

Happystar Li

Take A Break

I really really need a break. Like a break for my brain and hand to rest. Starting from Week 4 to Week 12 (now), I keep having small tests, mid term and quizzes going on. Studying non-stop. Sacrificing my sleep just to finish the chapters. After the end of accounts mid term, there goes finance mid term. Damn, when can my brain rest? When can I sleep early?

My panda eyes have became more and more but thanks god to my dark skin colour. Its kind of camouflage my dark circles. Yay, I guess that's the only good thing of having darker skin. Finals in 2 weeks time and I still not even ready yet. Ohh please, let it be super easy!!! I dont want the history of accounts mid term to be repeated. 99 fail out of 119 students. The questions are great disasters. We dont even have time to think and anlayse. Keep writing but dont know what to do. I guess if we were given one more extra hour, the failure rate wont be that high. And I could have done better.

Short update after finishing my finance online quiz. Last quiz. Last chance to score. Glad that I managed to score. Now off to bed. Goodnite.

I finally get the chance to sleep at 1am. Ohh well, that's is pretty late but for slow motion people like me, 1am is considered to be early...

Lastly, Happy 25th Birthday Exo's Leader Suho. You will be EXO's forever great leader. Stay cute always. =)

Happystar Li

你是想怎样？

你到底想怎样？我的脾气也有个底线的。不要一直指望我可以一直安慰你，一直在你身边帮你，说服你，我很累的，你知道吗？

你拿到了Inter-campus exchange 的 opportunity，很难得。别人想要都没有，你却想要在这个时候放弃？你疯了？是，你是我的朋友，在朋友的角度，我应该劝你不要放弃。可是从申请到真正拿到offer letter，你说要放弃，已经不是第一次了。我每次都劝你不要放弃，告诉你一大堆的道理，然后你终于坚持了。可是现在你又吵着要放弃，你到底想怎样？我很累的，每天都要面对你的一大堆理由，然后从中找出道理来说服你。我不是超人，你也不是我的谁，只不过是朋友而已，我能做的，已远远超出了朋友能做的。

就因为small test 考不好，所以你又再次吵着不要去了。算了，这次我对你彻底的放弃了，去不去，你自己决定吧。反正我也找到了我的朋友，少你多你一个也不差，只是心中难免会有些不开心。为什么？为什么在最后一步你选择放弃？小考而已，凭什么用它来当借口说不想去？不想去？你知不知道，能够到国外读书一直以来都是我的梦想。现在你拥有了机会，为什么要错过呢？

不是金钱上的问题，只是纯粹不想去，因为小考成绩不好。你的理由可以在荒谬一点吗？你不如告诉我你有飞机恐惧症，那比这更有说服我的能力。你不要一直拿它当藉口，藉口来威胁我或要我安慰你，如果你是我男朋友，I don't mind. 可是你不是！！凭什么要我浪费口水来说服你？我的容忍度也有个极限的。

小考考不好？我想请问一下，这一次的小考，有谁考好呢？没有人。那你凭什么闹这种脾气？你不是三岁小妹妹，已经二十岁了，应该会想去澳洲求学半年是多么难得的机会，放弃肯定会后悔的。算了，现在跟你说那么多也是白费的，随便你怎么做吧！你的人生你自己去决定，我只是劝你而已。

但是，最后还是希望你能告诉我你一定会和我一起去澳洲。。。

Happystar Li

miraclehappenbutwhen?

Finally.

Guess what, I finally got accepted for the inter-campus exchange program. My dream come true!! After all the months of worrying and hoping, I finally got my official offer letter from them. Now, the only problem is off-campus accommodation. Hmm.. I'm quite lazy to look for one and so I kind of rely on my friends to help me get one. (Laziness is the main problem but I cant help).

Last Wednesday, I went for a hostel arrangement talk held in my university. I was so sure that I didn't receive any offer letter before the talk. Was kinda disappointed 'cause everyone who applied for this program will have to attend this talk even if you don't receive the offer letter (according to them). But guess what, that was just a joke!! The fact is that, everyone who get invited to the talk are the one who will get (confirm) the offer letter from them. I didn't know this until they asked me whether I received my offer letter or not? At that moment, I don't really know they have sent the offer letter that morning. I was pretty rush that morning 'cause I woke up late and late for lecture. Then I was like.. hmm I don't know.

They asked me check my email now. Whoever didn't receive the offer letter are not required to attend this talk. Then I was super duper nervous while looking at my email. I got 3 emails from them that day. The first one was "congratulation & official offer letter". OMGGGG!!! I was so happy until I realized the second email's title was "Error in offer letter". At that second, I thought they will inform me they have wrongly send the offer letter to me. NOOOOO. I kind of nervous, pray to God, please let me go for once. Then I opened up the second email. NAHHH, the error is the dateline error in the offer letter form, so which mean I GOT MY OFFER LETTER!!! YESHHH!!!

I was trying to inform my friend about this but unfortunately the signal in the hall wasn't good and and she was sleeping, didn't pick up my call=((( Hahahaha. Told my parents about and they was like now you gonna learn how to cook, how to do your own laundry. OMGG why can't they just congrats me instead of all these...

Here comes the main part...

I called my super best best friend after that (you know who you're). Then she was like super happy for meeeeee. WHEEEEEE!! I don't know how to describe this feeling. Is like feeling kind of blessed or lucky to have her to be the first person to be happy for me.  The way you express your happiness by spamming my whatsapp even though you knew I'm having exam right now is just so crazy and great. I don't know since when our friendship have upgraded to be like a relationship? Hmm.. one-step below relationship. Hahaha. Feeling super super lucky to have you by my side always.

Thank you for being my forever listener that listen to my every problem and comfort me in your own way. Whenever I'm facing any difficulties or any happiness, the first thing I would like to do is to pick up my phone and start whatsapping you, updating you about the thing happened. If you didn't choose Australia, or put it that way, if I choose Australia's life, I think my life will be much more happy and we will be forever together every way we go. 

If you're a guy, I'll date for sure. For now, let's just hope we can meet up in Australia in July. 

Happystar Li