Sunday, December 29, 2013

Relax



hey.. I'M BACK. From Genting =) Just read my friend's blog, I knew who you mean..hehe. If she still hurting now,then i guess it's time to say bye bye to her. It's not cruel (definitely) but just another way to protect yourself from getting hurt. Love yourself first. Just included her to your 'hi bye' friends list. A friend who you don't need them and just say hi and bye to them whenever you meet them. That's all =)  Haha. Of course you have the right to choose them so.. sms me if you need anything or need someone to talk to la.. I guess you know who I mean. I promise I will not forget to reply the message (even though I always forget to reply)

My brain is under maintenance nowadays. After SPM, I tend to forget the things that I usually do as usual. Forget to watch the drama that I wanted to watch long time ago, forget to reply message, forget this and that.. I think I do it on purpose, I need a rest. My brain has been functioning for the past two years and now it's the time for me to take a break for like two month? Not exactly. No books, no memorising and the most important no more sciences in my life anymore!!! I didn't actually regret that I'm a science-stream student who tend to forget everything about science and take up business in my college. It's a new challenge to me. Face it and do it..

To my surprise, Genting was so much more colder compare to last time I went there ( which was two years ago). I wore a quite big red jacket and yet I still shivering. What happen to me? Why can't I cope with this situation? Is super cold.. Outdoor theme park was officially closed == so I can only choose indoor theme park which was at First World.  My cousin and I were enjoying playing bumble car. It's quite fun riding a car and clashed into others. I took revenge and clash into one of my cousin who always teasing me because of my height and I don't really think that he knew about this. My blog is PRIVATE! 

Next we went Motion Master. I was the first person who suggested to go in and looked very confidant but in fact I was quite scared about it. Acting skills improved. We actually wasted an hour for lining up for only 10 minutes show. This was so not like me. I have no patience in anything. A lady lining up behind us keep asking us some 'funny' questions and acted like she knew us very well. ( Yeah right) All my cousins ignored her but I felt bad for not answering her questions. So I ended up created my own story. I told her that we were friends and our parents were busy working. They send us up here and get back to work again. They will only fetch us at tomorrow night. (I'm creative director) I even told her that we all were same age and she truly believed it. I told this lie without thinking and said it out without any  hesitation.. Haha. My cousin laughed at me after listening to my interesting 'story'. How could you believed that my brother which was 21 this year and my little cousin which was 13 this year were same age? They looked so wrong to be the same age. Even me looked more younger than my actual age. 

Night, we went buffet.. My dad told the person-in-charge that I was only 12 yrs old.. (5 years younger) and the guy was like okay.. em.. I knew I'm short but that doesn't mean that I'm younger. Your height does not determine your age. And my mum was like so proud cause my little brother was the tallest among the all. There is no such a reason that tall mean good, short mean bad. Nonsense. Being short has lots of advantages that tall guys will never get to know. " Yeah, I'm short and I'm proud of it" This is what my Tae Kwan Do master told me. Yes, i totally agree with that. Scientifically, being short has lower centre of gravity so which means they are more stable and tend to remain at their position especially when the bus brake. Short person will response fast and carry out response faster than taller person because they have a shorter nerve pathway to be send to the integrating centre which was located in the medulla oblongata. As a result, they will carry out any actions faster. I believed it. Don't you? 

School reopen in 3 days time, oh. wait, it's not mine school anymore. I have graduated from my high school already. HAHA. Well, today, 29 dec is my favourite artist's bithday. Rynn Lim.. Happy Birthday!!! Love and support you always and never fail. haha. 

Bye bye.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

选择


权?是每个人都有权利选择,所以我不会阻止你做任何的选择,只要你认为那是你的选择,那就可以了。我呢?我没,关,系!

真的很难过,很伤心,但我不是失恋,而是失信。失去信任。原来我是白费的。原来他们已经做好了选择。趁他们去旅行的期间,我想说帮他们做点什么,安排点什么,就去学车学院帮他们问下学车的时间表,也联络上了有关的人,安排一些交通,顺便问一些有关的收费以及课程。他们回来,我第一时间就是邀请他们和我一起去学车,哥哥说听讲座最好有个伴,这样才不会闷。我和她讲解了很多有关学车的事,收费什么都好,结果呢?

我的详情的解释换来的竟是听有人说另一家学车学院的学费更加便宜!!!!!谁告诉你的?另一个朋友。你们回答说。我问你,学费多少?包括什么?一切都不知道!

我当时心中产生了一个疑问:每一家学车的学院学费都是一样的,差别也许在于课程的次数罢?但我没说出口,让他们自己去找出好了。结果呢?我一而在在而三的求他们陪我去听讲座,可是没有一个人肯答应。答案一致,另一家学车的学院学费比较便宜。请问价钱还是友情比较重要了?换成是我呢?我一定会陪哪一个求我的朋友。一百次的同样事情发生,我的答案还是一致,是很。坚。定。的。答。案。。

再结果呢?你们选择去了那家道听途说便宜的学院报名,才发现原来两家的学费其实是一样的。可是你们却一句对不起,决解了一切。我的感受呢?

原来我只是一个被忽略的工具。你们宁愿相信另一个朋友说的或道听途说,都不愿相信我曾对你们说的两家学院的学费差不大。原来这五年换来的,就是这样!!你不用说我小题大做,换成是你?自己最好的朋友宁愿相信道听途说,也不愿相信你亲口说的,你的心是如何的?你的感受又是如何?心里有数。

一个人就一个人。

我的努力全是白费的,原来我只是被利用的工具,要帮忙时就找我,不要时就忽视我!我的心真的很难受!很难过!朋友两个字,突然间我忘了怎么写?怎么友情永固这字突然从我脑中消失了?去了哪儿?我不知道。我第一次主动联络人安排一切,现在呢?全毁了吗?我真的不敢在想了。

握着手机,心里告诉自己决不能把自己的脾气用文字打出来,那会伤了友谊,可是他们有理会过我的感受吗?难道还要继续强颜欢笑地打“没关系”这字来回答吗?不是一封,是三封!三封都得那样吗?我没那么伟大!不过放心,面对着他们,我还是会收起脾气,继续强颜欢笑,嘻嘻哈哈和他们沟通,但只有我自己知道我的心每一分每一秒都在流血,很痛但决不能说出口。一直流,一直流。。。。。。。

怎么办?没办法。怎样?我很无助?!和堂妹谈了一天,我突然觉得原来她和我一样,感同身受。。她告诉我,相信自己,对得起自己就好。原来她比我还要成熟。。。谢谢你!

想起了BY2 的新歌 《不哭了》里面有一句 “不苦了,不苦了,何必为不值得而哭呢?" 也许有一天他们会接受我的好意的,我一直在等待那一天。。。。。